Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Cincinnati Fats and Other Monikers

There is something about babies that makes giving them nicknames irresistible. It must be a reflex triggered by those exaggerated features, not unlike how we are hard wired to find the little critters cute despite all the midnight howling and diaper we don't eat them when times get tough.

For the Mr and I, this started early on in pregnancy, when our son acquired a collection of monikers. We called him by whatever fruit the internet told us approximated his size that week, from poppyseed to watermelon, and he and I together often became a single nicknamed unit such as "bananamama" or "the onion-wife complex." The Mr. is good at nicknames anyways, so these sometimes got a little more elaborate and nonsensical, like "chickadizalope." Once we found out that he was he and we started to contemplate names, we tried different ones on for size, but often called him by the top candidates of "Dr. Mantis Toboggan" or "Megatron."

Then he was born, and all nicknaming hell broke loose.  He became "Truffle Pig," "Wild Man" or "Mr. Woo" when rooting; "Raptor Baby" or "Gremlin" when making those particular baby noises that make me think he has  a future as a Foley artist; "Fuss Master," "Lord Fussypants" or "Wassamattahyou" when upset; and generally "Cincinnatti Fats" because the Mr. decided one day that he was our little river boat gambler and should be named accordingly..which is the obvious choice when you look at that face:

He is clearly thinking about river boat gambling.  

Then there are the random ones, like "Boogie Nights," "Little Man," "Enzomatic," "Munstie," "Enzolicious," "Chunky Monkey," "Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy," "Milky Face," "Buddy"'s really a long list. 

I'm not sure if every baby ends up getting called quite as many things as our little guy, but it seems likely - extremely formal and systematic research (i.e. my randomly posting something this one time on a forum of some of the most fantastic moms out there and glancing through the responses) suggests that I'm not alone in this nicknaming urge, and that popular choices involve "monkey," "buddy," "monster," references to food/milk/poop, and little variations of baby's name.  Also, it's fun to describe behaviors (so go ahead and call that baby "Motorboat!"). 

I just hope that my little guy will eventually learn his name...which might be tough if we never use it.


1 comment:

  1. hilarious! I love all your nicknames. Mine feel so bland and uncreative; I need to step up my nickname game.